SWITCHED ACCOUNTS. DO NOT WATCH HERE.
DO NOT WATCH HERE. DO NOT WATCH HERE. DO NOT WATCH HERE. DO NOT WATCH HERE.



DO NOT WATCH HERE.

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Guh. I feel sad ;-;
Okay, I ALMOST cried myself to sleep just now. But suddenly had a weird urge to let out my feelings, but I can't do that on my new account - my brother watches that one, and I don't particularly want him reading about my insecurities...

So. My sadness is about my stepdad...I HATE HIM. He married my mom a few years ago, I lost track of how many long ago...and my mother asked my consent for her to marry him, and I said it was fine...god, I made a HUGE mistake.

But before I go into detail about that, I'll talk about something else.
My mom was dating a guy named David before my stepdad, and he was the stepdad of my dreams - so much better than reality now. He took us for hikes in the mountains, we got fresh mountain water to drink, it was great while they were dating. I honestly wish that they stayed together, they worked out their differences and got together permanently. But that's not exactly what happened...
The only reason (that I know of) that their relationship didn't work out is because David didn't like the idea of borrowing money to build a house, which my mother did. She complained a bit about it (David rents his house, by the way), and said that she pays the same amount he does to the bank, and will eventually OWN the house, while he will be paying forever, since he's just renting it. So, there goes David...I miss him even now =[

Then she gets together with Jon, my stepdad. He had a dog and a cat, Cirrus and Ebony (more commonly known as Buh-Buh), and I didn't really see why we were going to his house for dinner so often, until my mom asked me if it was okay to marry him, and as you know I said yes. Now I feel that I didn't know him well enough, I should have said that I wasn't comfortable with her marrying him until I felt completely happy in his presence...let's just say I'm not.
After they got married, things went downhill. The dog was constantly a menace, howling and ripping things up when Jon wasn't within two feet of her face. I'm not exaggerating. This is TRUE. And not only that, I started feeling alone and unhappy. My friends didn't notice, although I left huge signs of being unhappy. I spent countless hours in my room, avoiding my parents as often as possible, and taking haven at my dad's house as much as I could - not very much, he was often traveling...
I seriously was considering suicide, when I had an idea...! Cheat on a test to get an A+ to capture my mom's attention!

Got caught. Good thing too, because if it didn't work...-sniffle-

So, at this point I'm GROUNDED, moved from my room to a place where I can be watched, and completely unhappy now. My friends still don't seem to care, and I feel completely alone. I don't dare mention anything about it to my dad, I don't want to worry him...I confide in my piano teacher, often breaking out in tears during my lesson because of frustration and needing to get away...I needed a therapist badly. My mom promised, but never came through...typical. She never keeps anything that I ask her to...

All this time, I'm having trouble in school. I'm constantly asking to go out of the room so I can relax, and constantly denied. I broke out in tears during my Reading Class, and got kicked into the lower class...a result of a teacher who takes out her frustrations on students just like her.
Things did get better, I started spending weekends at my dad's house whether he was there or not, I began acing classes...but I still felt alone. My best friend was selfish and gave me crap when I asked for advice. She thinks I've got it all...that her problems are worse than mine - her parents paid attention to her, got her almost everything she asked for...her family was almost everything I'd ever wanted.

But now I'm rambling.

I spent my summer at my dad's house, coming home rarely, avoiding my mother's gaze when she was in the room.
One day, I came home, and a strange dog came rushing up to me when I opened the door. He almost got out. Our new family member: the worst dog I will ever know is...Tut the Basenji dog. He eats underwear. He chases cats (all fucking four of mine). He chews wood. He slips out the door and bites people's butts when they don't open the door to the backyard.
He is the main reason why I STILL hate Jon. I touch Tut when he bites me, I get grounded. I put chewed underwear around Tut's neck and send him off to Jon to remind him that he owes me undies, and I get approving looks from Mom and a glare from Jon.

I'm just about fed up with all this. I'm no longer sad, I'm satisfied.
If you read all that, have a cookie